Ask Alanis Morissette: I have no friends – what’s wrong with me?

Compatibility, especially in adulthood, is a subtle, fragile and sometimes complicated thing

I am 35 and have hardly any friends. My family travelled a lot, meaning I lost most of my friends from childhood, and now I have only a handful of close friends, most of whom live in other countries. I am happily married with a young child and my husband has lots of friends, but I feel alone. I see lots of my acquaintances who regularly go out with friends, or other mums, and I think, “Why haven’t they invited me?” What’s wrong with me?
There are perks to the travelling lifestyle, to be sure, but when we are young, these ruptured friendships can leave little scars. As a result, you might resist diving into an intimate friendship as an adult. It could otherwise be that your background was unique, or that you were educated in a way that has left you feeling different or isolated in some way. Compatibility, especially in adulthood, is a subtle, fragile and sometimes complicated thing.

I find that in friendship, sharing the same values, priorities, interests and worldviews is important, as well as having the ability to empathise, and some emotional maturity. But what would you need to know in order to commit to a new friendship? Writing that down is worthwhile, because it can help you work out which events or invitations to say yes to, and which to decline.

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from Health & wellbeing | The Guardian http://ift.tt/1RVbr4w
via health