The Surgeon General Encourages Elmo To Get A Vaccine In New PSA

When Elmo was nervous about getting a shot, he didn't enlist any old doctor for moral support. In a new video produced by the Daily Dot, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy teaches the "Sesame Street" favorite about the importance of getting vaccinations.



After explaining the health benefits of being vaccinated, Murthy suggests that Elmo sing a song to take his mind off the (slight) pain Elmo might experience. Elmo immediately belts out "Shake It Off," so now we know he's a T. Swift fan.



At the end of the clip, Murthy and Elmo seem to throw shade at anti-vaxxers (if "Sesame Street" characters and a surgeon general can even "throw shade").



"Boy, that was so easy! Why doesn't everybody get a vaccination?" Elmo asks.



"That's a good question, Elmo, that's a good question," Murthy replies, as they both stroke their chins.



Watch the full video above.



Elmo also appeared with the surgeon general in a 30-second vaccination PSA that published on the Department of Health and Human Services website Friday.

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Neanderthal Study Argues The Original Paleo Diet Included Flavorful Herbs

As you've surely figured out by now, especially if you're Facebook friends with any Crossfit enthusiasts, the fastest-growing diet of the past few years is the Paleo diet. It restricts adherents' food intake to ingredients that were -- at least theoretically -- consumed by hominids in the Paleolithic Age, which ended sometime around 10,000 B.C.E. That means no wheat, no sugar, no alcohol and certainly no artificial additives.



Paleo is surely one of the most imaginatively daring diets ever devised. The underpinning idea is that the key to ideal health is to return, as much as possible, to the way our ancestors ate in some Edenic past before agriculture, urban life or written history, when our dietary choices were governed by inborn animalistic impulses rather than societal morays. By connecting the waning of man's health and vigor with the waxing of agriculture, Paleo's supporters tap into beliefs about human history so fundamental that they're encoded in the Book of Genesis. It may be the true source of Paleo's popularity isn't so much its demonstrated health benefits as the near-universal potency of the story of the fall.



But the more scientists learn about our distant ancestors, the less basic this pre-historic idyll seems. The latest salvo comes in the form of an article about the dietary habits of Neanderthals, published in the April issue of the journal Antiquity.



The study's authors, led by French anthropologist Sabrina Krief, draw on a 2012 study of a cache of 50,000-year-old Neanderthal remains found in a cave in northern Spain. The team behind the earlier study, which was led by Spanish archeologist Karen Hardy, found traces of chemicals embedded in the Spanish Neanderthal's teeth that derive from two herbs, chamomile and yarrow. Because chamomile and yarrow are known to have anti-microbial and anti-parasitic properties, Hardy and her co-authors concluded that Neanderthals ingested these herbs to self-medicate unspecified ailments.



Krief and her colleagues posit a different hypothesis. While admitting the possibility that the Neanderthals were using the herbs as medicine, they also suggest that they might have eaten them because they liked the taste. They base this conclusion on observations they and others have made of the dietary behavior of wild chimpanzees; apparently, chimpanzees like to chew bitter herbs and flavorful soils before and during meat-based meals, especially those in which stomach and intestine meat serves as the main course.



Noting that Hardy's team also found chemicals associated with smoked and cooked meats, they further argue that the Neanderthals cooked full dishes that were probably meat based -- including bone broth! -- using these herbs as flavoring agents. To support the idea that chamomile and yarrow, which aren't exactly staples of the herb section at Whole Foods, might have appealed to the Neanderthal palate, they note that a French cookbook from 2000 includes camomile in a recipe for blanquette de veau.



"The strong, bitter taste of the leaves may modify the flavor of viscera, muscles, organs or water," they write. "The bitter taste of the cooked plant does not necessarily disappear completely; chamomile, for example, remains bitter when infused."



The Daily Mail, in a long writeup of the study, suggests that the Neanderthals were talented enough cooks to compete with the likes of Gordon Ramsay. That seems a little rich, but this study does offer more compelling evidence that Neanderthals were, like corporations, people too. And people have always liked food that tastes good.

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Take A Look At These Retro Nike Ads For Women

Earlier this week, Nike released its #betterforit ad spot, which said what we're all pretty much thinking when we work out or go to the gym: What the hell am I doing? Nike has been empowering women for over 40 years and to show where the company has come from, the company also published some of its ads from the past decades this week.



Among some of our favorite women athletes featured in the ads are former WNBA players Lisa Leslie and Sheryl Swoopes, as well as women's soccer legend, Mia Hamm.



Check out a sampling of some particular gems below, and head over to Nike to see the rest.

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9 Ways 'Wasting Time' Can Boost Your Career

A 2014 survey from Salary.com said that 89 percent of workers waste at least some time at work each day. And although plenty of people would guess that young people would be the biggest time wasters, but actually, people 26-39 were the worst culprits.



Or should that be... the best?



What's interesting is that more than half the survey's respondents (53 percent) said they waste time because they believe short breaks make them more productive.



Another study from a social networking group used a time-tracking app to analyze the most productive people. They discovered that productive workers don't put in longer hours, but what they did do was take frequent breaks -- specifically, they took 17 minute breaks for every 52 minutes of work.



Perhaps even more surprising is what these employees did with their breaks: they got away from the computer completely, taking a walk, chatting with a coworker, or reading a book.

9 Ways to Waste Time Properly

Reading blogs, watching videos on YouTube, or reading a book unrelated to your work are all things that really career-focused people sometimes see as wasting time or distractions that take them away from the things they should be doing to further their career.



But actually, it is really valuable to spend some time (not too much though) on these activities that might give us completely new ideas and perspectives. They can help us discover new things, make new connections, come up with innovative solutions and challenge our current thinking.



The next time you feel bored, tired, or stuck at work, try one of these:

1. Take a walk.

The fresh air, sunshine, and most importantly exercise will get your blood flowing and improve concentration, memory, and performance.

2. Catch up with a colleague.

In an MIT study, workers at a call center who were allowed to chat with their colleagues got through more calls (not less) and felt less tension and stress about their jobs.

3. Take a nap.

If you feel tired, a 15- or 20-minute power nap can absolutely boost your focus and productivity.

4. Read a book.

It turns out, people who read books -- especially fiction -- are better at interacting with their colleagues. So you're not just reading the latest bestseller; you're improving your EQ.

5. Surf the net.

This isn't as useful as getting away from your computer, but taking some time to look at websites that aren't totally related to your work can give your brain a break as well as spur creativity.

6. Daydream.

It's a common anecdote that we have our best ideas while otherwise distracted -- say, while driving or taking a shower -- but science has shown that different parts of our brains light up when we daydream, which may help you break through a thorny problem.

7. Take a lunch break.

Actually taking a break to eat lunch is a foreign concept to many, but stepping away from your desk and eating some nutritious food can boost productivity.

8. Meditate.

Even a short meditation has benefits for the brain like lowering stress levels and improving overall health.

9. Plan your next vacation.

It turns out that planning a vacation (whether you actually take it or not) boosts happiness. So if you're feeling stressed or overworked, taking a few minutes to pick out a cruise or look at hotels could make you feel better.



What's your favorite way to take a break at work? Do you consider wasting time a productivity booster -- or not? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

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Sanjay Gupta Says It's Time For A Medical Marijuana 'Revolution'

Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN's chief medical correspondent, has issued his strongest statement on legal weed yet, calling for a full-scale "medical marijuana revolution."



"We should legalize medical marijuana," he wrote in an op-ed published Thursday on CNN's website. "We should do it nationally. And, we should do it now."



Gupta's comments come ahead of "Weed 3," the third installment of his documentary series that explores the plant's medical effectiveness and evolving status in society.



The episode, premiering Sunday on CNN, will include high-resolution renderings of what happens to the brain when individuals use cannabis. It will also follow those engaging in the country's first federally approved clinical study of marijuana on PTSD patients and feature interviews with President Barack Obama and other lawmakers, including Sens. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) and Cory Booker (D-N.J.).



"I see a revolution that is burning white hot among young people, but also shows up among the parents and grandparents in my kids' school," Gupta's op-ed continues. "A police officer I met in Michigan is part of the revolution, as are the editors of the medical journal, Neurosurgery. I see it in the faces of good parents, uprooting their lives to get medicine for their children."






Watch excerpts from Gupta's first installment of "Weed" above.




The celebrity doctor wasn't always such a stringent supporter of medical pot, however, even going so far as to explain why he would "vote no" on the issue in a 2009 piece for Time magazine. He first publicly revealed his evolved stance before the first episode of "Weed" debuted in 2013.



"I am here to apologize," Gupta wrote at the time. "We have been terribly and systematically misled for nearly 70 years in the United States, and I apologize for my own role in that."



He took those comments a step further in an exclusive interview with The Huffington Post the following year, declaring his support for full-scale federal legalization of medical marijuana. "In terms of making this legal for medicinal purposes -- yes," he said. "I am not backing down on medical marijuana; I am doubling down."



Although 24 states have legalized marijuana for medical purposes, the drug remains a federally illegal Schedule One substance, which means the government considers it to have no medicinal value. However, a growing body of evidence, bolstered by a series of high-profile cases chronicled in the media, suggests otherwise. In addition, a recent CBS poll found that 86 percent of Americans think doctors should be able to prescribe medical marijuana for serious illnesses.



Despite the evidence and overwhelming support, many prominent lawmakers continue to speak out against the issue. New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R), who is largely considered to be one of the Republican presidential front-runners, said in an interview earlier this week that he would continue to enforce the federal ban on medical marijuana should he be elected.



"Absolutely," he replied when asked if he would crack down on states that have legalized pot. "I will crack down and not permit it."



"Weed 3: The Marijuana Revolution" premieres Sunday at 9 p.m. EST on CNN.

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How I Got 'Rich'

I promise that I am not trying to dupe you with the title of this entry. I am not here to give you a get-rich-quick scheme or investment advice. I'm here to tell you how I personally got rich, and it's easier than I ever thought.



Let me first explain the massive shift in thinking that brought me to this new kind of wealth. For years I followed what most people believed were the symbols of wealth; a "good" job, nice clothes, a nice car, a big home. I thought that wealth was defined by having all the material trappings that one sees on TV when they look at celebrities and others who had "made it."



As I started to get older and started examining my life, I began to realize that while I had some of those material symbols of wealth, I didn't "feel" wealthy. In fact, I was unhappy and unhealthy and felt like I had no purpose in life. But hey -- I was driving a nice car!



I had always followed blogs about minimalism and tiny houses and was intrigued by the idea of downsizing and living with less. This is how I became rich. I became rich by keeping my wants few.



A week ago, I downsized, I got rid of all the items that weren't absolutely necessary for daily living or didn't bring me utter joy, and I moved to a tiny little place at the beach. To live at the beach was a lifelong dream of mine, and by scaling down, I was able to afford the move.



Now, when I look around my new space, I see only the items that I love and need. I no longer covet "stuff," in all its various forms. Most of my entertainment is free. I walk or run on the beach, watch the sunrise and sunset, and have found the heaven that is known as the free library!



Without room in my new place, I no longer stare longingly at dresses in shop windows, jewelry at the department store, or household accessories at discount places; there is simply "no room at the inn" for such things.



I've scaled down in every possible sense of the word and this has allowed me to quit my soul-sucking "day job" and run two business full-time, while still leaving me time to explore volunteer opportunities that don't pay in cash, but pay in all the feeling good you can imagine.



Without all the clutter at home, I've found that I've reduced the clutter in my brain as well. Long walks give me time to think and create. I now have time to enjoy life, instead of spending my time trying to maintain it. I have found Holy Grail of wealth which is health; that is, my mental health.



There is no more "keeping up with the Joneses;" and no more comparing my suit to the one my coworker is wearing. There is no more worrying about getting the best table at the best restaurant to impress some random client. There is no more "fluff" in my life.



And all this has made me rich. I am now rich in experience. I am rich in health and happiness. And yes, while I may not be financially rich by most modern day standards, my new lifestyle is saving me money.



Not ready to sell all your stuff and move to the beach? I get that. But there are still ways that you can get rich too.



• Get rid of all the unnecessary stuff, and believe me a lot of it is unnecessary. Physically go through your possessions and get rid of anything that doesn't serve a functional purpose or anything that doesn't bring you absolute joy.



• Get rid of the drama. You will experience a richness of extra time and reduced stress and happiness by weeding out the people in your life that bring drama with them wherever they go. Can't completely axe the Debbie Downers? At least make an effort to spend less time with them.



• Stop comparing what you have/don't have to what others have/don't have. Life is not a competition. No one cares what kind of car you drive or if your Prada bag is from last season. And if your friends do care about these material things, it's time to upgrade your friends.



• Practice gratitude. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, try focusing on what you do have. When I started to be truly appreciative of all that I have I started to feel richer inside. I realized how much I had to be grateful for and how many things I actually possess.



• Measure the things that money can't buy. Health, good relationships, the gift of time, and a sense of peace and purpose cannot be bought. It is in these things where your richness will truly be realized.



Freeing yourself from the material things and the need to keep up the appearance of wealth is as liberating a feeling as I've ever felt before and has helped me feel like the richest woman in the world. I hope you'll soon be able to get rich too!

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How Law Enforcement Should Treat Victims of Sexual Assault

When I walked into the campus police station, I was told to wait in the lobby for the officer who would be out shortly to take down my story. The station walls were made out of the same material as the walls of the room where I had been raped by a fellow student less than a week ago. My stomach was already sick.



A female officer appeared wearing black pants and a white shirt. My brain processed this data with alacrity: she would be nice to me because ... our anatomy matched? I followed her into a very small room. At least I got to sit by the door. Her questions were manageable. Then, she said that another officer would need to come in to ask more questions and they might be difficult questions.



The male officer came in wearing his uniform. He looked like the star from an action film, or like a toy police officer with movable arms and legs. He looked confident. I felt not-confident. I was wearing blue pants and a red and white striped sweater. I looked like a girl on a sailboat in Nantucket and felt like I was going to get seasick.



He had a blank pad of paper and a pen. The pad of paper looked brand new, fresh out of the storage closet. Maybe he had never asked anyone what they were wearing on the night of the "incident" before now. Maybe he had never interviewed someone who said she was raped by a guy who was really good looking, really rich, really smart, and really talented. Maybe he had never had to ask if the sex hurt.



Victimology is the study of victims of crime. What is it really? It's me answering those questions and focusing on being precise, but choking on bits of adjectives and adverbs as I taste, smell and feel them all over again. These details are not even fully infused in my brain because I've been fighting my synapses on them every day for the last six. I have been stoppering their landing spots because I know that I just don't want to feel afraid for an indeterminate future whenever I see cement walls or eat broccoli like I had that night.



I am not writing to critique law enforcement. I am writing to explain how it is to tell anyone the story of your rape, assault, or abuse. This is how hard it is to describe what happened, because your brain has barely let the facts into your head. I write to anyone who may need to listen, respond, or need to ask questions.



By listening, you can help us achieve some sense of justice after being violated so personally. When we tell you; you represent our hope that our victimization will not be in vain -- that our perpetrator might not harm a dozen more women, or men, after us. Everything that you do teaches us about how the public might respond when we tell others our stories. Many of us use your body language, questions and attitude to gauge our responsibility for our own victimization. We sense how much we "should have known" based on your assessment of our situation. We often feel guilty, embarrassed and weak.



There are many ways you can be helpful: not interrupting; waiting to clarify until the end; asking questions with a gentle voice; letting us sit by the exit route; not sitting behind your desk opposite us; letting us have a break when we need it; sitting with an open posture and not crossing your arms or legs; asking us where we'd feel comfortable talking; making sure that we know to whom we can turn for support and counseling; following up to see if you can do anything to help. If we really want to have more people come forward and report, those who listen will need to your part, too.



Learn more about how to help someone: We at Take Back The Night invite you to join our free workshop to go from Hurt to Healing! Visit http://ift.tt/GSFRl5 to join us on April 23 at 9PM EST.

This post is part of a series produced by The Huffington Post and Take Back the Night in conjunction with Sexual Assault Awareness Month. To learn more about Take Back the Night and how you can help prevent sexual violence, visit here. Read all posts in the series here.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-866-331-9474 or text "loveis" to 77054 for the National Dating Abuse Helpline.

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Bridges, Planes and Panic Attacks: Getting Over Fear

I'm not sure when I first realized I was afraid of flying but it wasn't long after I entered college. I'd worry for weeks and weeks as the departure date would get closer and closer. I distinctly remember having diarrhea EVERY TIME I'd arrive at the airport. I also remember seriously thinking "we're all going to die" when we'd board the plane and I'd wonder why other people in line didn't seem more concerned about this possibility. (The way my fearful mind worked, it actually seemed more like a probability.)



And once I'd get to my destination I'd have to worry about getting back home the whole time I was away! Even when I wasn't flying, I'd have nightmares about it. I'd wake up so relieved to realize I didn't have to get on a plane. I even remember feeling nauseous driving near airports and seeing low flying planes coming in for a landing.



Then when the four planes crashed on 9/11 I announced to my family with a great sense of justification and relief: "That's it. I'm NEVER flying again." About five years went by with absolutely NO flying (and a LOT of driving) before my young daughter came to me and said: "Daddy, I'm the only one in my whole class who has NEVER been on an airplane."



Just prior to this announcement, I'd had a panic attack driving through a tunnel on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. (That's when I realized that this fear of flying was part of a more generalized problem I was having with anxiety.) Once you've had a panic attack, you NEVER want to have another one - not even for a minute - and basically you will do anything you have to do to avoid it: Which is why some people become agoraphobic. They never want to leave the house for fear of having a panic attack and embarrassing themselves in public. So this new factor was making me even less likely to want to fly.



At that time, I was experimenting with a numerical approach to managing and tracking stress based on a scale of 0-10 and exploring the fairly unique idea that stress is cumulative. There was nobody writing about this back then and barely anyone talking about it now either. I can assure you, that experts agree that every time you experience a stressful event, cortisol, adrenaline and norepinephrine are dumped into your blood stream and it sometimes takes hours for your stress hormone levels to return to "normal." "Normal" stress levels vary for everyone and even for different times of day so that's why I put the word normal in quotes.



But these levels are also relative. So if you started your day at say a stress level of two -- and this a subjective, self reported scale -- after a stressful event, you might feel your stress levels rise to a 5 and it would take up to two hours for the your stress levels to revert back to a two. So when a series of stressful events hits you in rapid succession -- your stress levels build in a stepwise fashion- cascading upwards. So this makes the third or fourth or fifth stressful event (even if it's milder than the first) harder to cope with because of the CUMULATIVE effect of the prior events on your rapidly escalating level of stress.



Quite honestly I think this explains why police occasionally overreact under pressure. Any first responders' stress hormone levels are going to be elevated by just arriving at the scene of a crime or an accident. When you add in an altercation and a chase on top of these ALREADY elevated stress hormones, you've got recipe for disaster just waiting to happen.





The Tappan Zee Bridge going over the Hudson River in New York State.



For some reason my panic around driving through that Pennsylvania tunnel had morphed into a fear of driving over really long bridges. (This is not uncommon with panic attacks.). So this fear of bridges pretty much locked me into staying on the East side of the Hudson River. There were no short bridges over the Hudson.



But there was one not- too-long bridge on I-95 between me and a friend's house where I would occasionally go to play tennis. I could make it over that shorter bridge even WITH my newly acquired panic disorder. But the fear of panic attacks was starting to run my life. This bridge however, while within the limits of what I could take, would still cause me to get to maybe a seven or eight stress level when I crossed it going south. But miraculously it never bothered me coming back north, after tennis, and I was starting to wonder why. Then my number system helped me figure it all out.



On the way down I was almost always in a hurry, running a bit late, at the end of a hectic day, and the thought of playing a competitive round of tennis provided an extra jolt of adrenaline to my already elevated levels of stress. All this mixed together to raise my stress levels to maybe a five or a six BEFORE hitting a single tennis ball and before arriving at that bridge. Add in the mental stress of worrying about whether I was going actually "make it" over the bridge and I'd come close to having a panic attack (maybe an eight or a nine) in the roughly 30 seconds or so that it took to go over that half mile long bridge.



But when I'd come back, I'd have played three sets of tennis, I'd be physically exhausted, I'd have feel good chemicals, like endorphins, flowing through me, and I'd be happy from having spent a few hours with my friend doing something I really enjoy. And I wasn't in any hurry to get back. So I'd hit the bridge going northbound at a very low level of stress, maybe a zero or a one. I would "think" the same thoughts about the bridge possibly collapsing but I wouldn't have ANY of the same corresponding anxious "feelings" in my gut.



That's when I realized that I could proactively ALTER my reaction to that bridge by controlling how I felt when I ARRIVED. I just had to arrive at a zero or a one and I would barely even feel it, no matter what direction I traveled in. I began to wonder if I could do the same thing with my fear of flying. If I could arrive at the airport at a zero or a one maybe getting on an airplane wouldn't be so scary after all.



So I decided to see if I could pull this off. I booked a flight for California out of JFK in New York that left around 1 p.m. so I'd have plenty of time to get to the airport on the day of my flight. The evening before we were set to go (of course I was bringing my daughter along) I packed my bags and went to bed at a reasonable hour. I woke up refreshed. On that morning I went to the gym to work out and do yoga. I took a relaxing shower afterwards. I allowed two hours for an hour-long drive to the airport. I didn't want rushing to the airport to elevate my stress levels. We got to the JFK two hours early because I didn't want delays in the lines to elevate my stress levels either. I really tried to make it as relaxed a day as it could possibly be.



When the airline attendant called out that it was time to board, I was genuinely surprised out how relaxed I felt. I had used mindfulness techniques to keep my mind in the present moment as much as possible while waiting, focusing on my breathing. My body wasn't buying any thoughts of panic that might have crept in because it was GENUINELY relaxed. (So I avoided a vicious feedback loop that you can establish between a tense body and a jittery mind.) This whole idea of starting out my day at a zero or a one had really worked. I said a little prayer as the plane hurdled down the runway, but I really wasn't that scared AT ALL as the plane ascended into the heavens.





That's me at the Taj Mahal a few years after my first flight.


Since that day about eight years ago, I've flown all over the country and around the world with absolutely no problems. I've been to Canada, Mexico, Honduras, Italy, France, England, India and Nepal. I fly now about once a month and never really experience any fear at all.

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Let's Stamp Out Stigma

High profile, gruesome incidents, like the March 24, 2015 crash of the Germanwing jet into the French Alps, naturally invite questions about the mental state of the perpetrator, Andreas Lubitz. In addition, the event may increase fear of people who suffer from mental disorders. My concern is that these incidents offer the opportunity to stigmatize and/or scapegoat those who acknowledge and seek help for psychological conflicts.



Dr. James L. Knoll, the Director of Forensic Psychiatry at the State University of New York Upstate Medical University, echoes my concern. "People want an easily graspable handle to help understand this, to blame something or scapegoat," Dr. Knoll said (Erica Goode, The New York Times, April 6, 2015).



In an earlier blog related to gun control (2013), I quoted the forensic psychiatrist Michael Stone who said, "Most mass murders are done by working class men we've been jilted, fired, or otherwise humiliated, and who undergo a crisis of rage."(The New York Times on January 16, 2013).



We aren't privy to the content of co-pilot Andreas Lubitz's sessions with his psychiatrist beyond the fact that he revealed suicidal tendencies. Had Lubitz openly spoken about his intentions, it is possible that the catastrophe could have been averted.



In my thirty plus years as a psychiatrist, I've had one instance in which a patient revealed his intention to commit mass murder. The patient, who I refer to as Mr. C., held intense grievances toward his employer. He was grateful that I was willing to testify in court for him advising his retirement from the workforce. As a result of my testimony, he received workers' compensation, and for the next twenty years of psychotherapy, he continued to rail against the company.



Although we don't know for sure if Mr. C. would have acted on his threats, in these instances I certainly think erring on the side of caution is preferable to taking chances.



CONCLUSION: To scapegoat and stigmatize people with psychological problems may discourage them from seeking treatment and result in a backlash including the occurrence of an increased incidence of violent episodes.



As a nation, we benefit from increasing access to psychological/psychiatric care, as well as propagating the principles of good-enough parenting, which can help:



1. Develop a healthy sense of self-esteem

2. Gain respect for human life

3. Acquire ways to deal with disappointment, frustration, loss and other grievances (which obviate the desire to act destructively).



______________________


Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

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Are You Paying Attention

"Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of." . Benjamin Franklin (American Statesman 1706-1790)

A question only you can answer and it is one often asked. Are you a loyal or a judgmental person? How to be loyal everyone can answer in his own way. A judgmental person often covers it by a pretense to be knowledgeable or knowing better. We are not thinking of loyalty when we think about family, those we take for granted. This special deep connection of loyalty between people is a searching one. How do we find it? We live in a time when the word loyalty is almost a forgotten one, considered old-fashioned. Quick answers are the mantra of today... loyalty has fallen out of favor. It is not always convenient, for false loyalty can represent misuse or pretense. Loyalty can bring about blind sighted behavior or adoration for not seeing evil in others. We don't think of people being evil, yet we have many evil examples throughout history. Of course we should also question power...and then think of the question about loyalty.



In this country we elect a new leader every four years at a huge cost. We develop a loyal feeling for him or her. We learn to trust their judgment, their leadership. Or do we? Often we are deeply disappointed, even pained if this loyalty is misplaced or even misused. Do the people we elect have character?



David Brooks, the highly regarded columnist of New York Times writes in his new book: The Road to Character about many people who have been leaders at different times in different endeavors and achieved excellence. All of whom he respects, and admires. In this book David focuses on deeper values that should guide our lives. Responding to the Big Me, which emphasizes external success, he challenges us, and himself, to rebalance the scales between our 'resume virtue', achieving wealth, fame, and status...and our 'eulogy virtues', our core of being, kindness, bravery, honesty, or faithfulness. He writes about some of the world's greatest thinkers and inspiring leaders and explores how, through internal struggle and deep despair, at times a sense of their own limitations, they have built a strong inner character. He provides an opportunity for us to rethink our priorities and strive to build rich inner lives marked by humility and moral depth. "Joy", David Brooks writes," is a byproduct experienced by people who are aiming for something else. But it comes."



Every day we are tempted to forget what we set out to be or do. It is good to set some goals: Do not surrender to group-think. Do today what you can. Do not procrastinate. Don't believe everything you hear or read. Take courage to accomplish what you believe in. Distinguish between things you can or cannot put off. Train daily to reach your goal. Be inspired by people, by events, by books. Read for this is a gift to yourself. Be a loyal friend even if at times it is unpleasant.



We are fortunate for we can choose loyalty and inner values and have the freedom to do so. So, yes, it helps to read books like the one David Brooks wrote, for it shows the road of many famous people which was not an easy one. It often was a road of struggle and sometimes a humiliating process to reach the best they could be. Life is learning and that is always!

"Ignorant men raise questions that wise men answered a thousand years ago." . . Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (German Author 1749-1832)

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8 Reasons Forcing Creative Time Into My Schedule Has Changed My Life Drastically

1. When I suddenly became a single mother at 17 my creative time helped me out of some very dark moments. Putting the music on, sketching and creating helped me visualize my dreams and bring a smile to my face. Art changed my perspective and the scared feelings I had quickly turned into hope, joy and happiness. Honestly when I was a young single mother, I felt a bit lost. But those times I chose to paint and create, changed my path, changed my focus and literally lit me up inside. These feelings made it so much easier to visualize a better future.



2. Creativity in any form can help you express yourself onto paper, giving your visions value. When you see a creative project with your own eyes it is easier to see your own potential and beauty in what you have created. You can surprise yourself when you put your ideas onto paper, almost as if your creative brain has its own intuitive sense. I have created ideas, business ventures and started things because of something I sketched. The simple act of creating can be the first step to something beautiful in your life! Creativity is similar to writing your goals down; instead you have a colorful visual which can be a bit more stimulating to the eye and your mind. I also find the things you create can also transfer to sleeping hours and if you're lucky you might wake up the next day with an incredible idea after a day of creating.



3. The more creative time you set aside the more creative you become. Like any kind of muscle, the more you do it, the more you thrive. If you leave your creative side behind and forget about it, the inspiration will fade. If you let life get in the way of creative time, it can be tricky to find again. But if you keep it going and find the time weekly, it grows like a plant sitting in the window with the sun beaming down on it.







4. Sometimes creative time is just for you. It is your choice if you share it with the world. Going to a retreat, getting a pedicure is for you, the same goes for art! If you are struggling to do something for yourself it's so easy to grab a pen and paper, find a corner in the house and start creating, transport yourself.



5. Creativity can help you stay in the moment. As your hand holds the pencil the brain is focused on the motion. Creative time can be relaxing and a great escape from everyday stress. I find if I am in a bad mood and I choose to sit at the computer and write or sketch something, within a few minutes my mood is altered and I feel calm and happy. Creative time is a huge stress reliever, same as exercise.



6. If you own a business creativity can jump start inspiration, new ideas and can help you build your business happily. If part of your work life includes creative time, it can be a very happy rewarding time that has nothing to do with your bottom line, hustling or finances. I have had so many light bulb moments when I was just being in the moment, drawing some of my ideas out. Having sparks of inspiration through sketching can be invaluable to the development and success for your business.







7. When I was a stay-at-home mother, painting and drawing gave me joy everyday and an outlet just for me. For me personally it built up my self esteem and confidence. The more I sketched out my dreams, ideas, clothing designs, the more I felt my dreams were possible. My creative ideas were the stepping stones to building my lifestyle on my own terms. We all know being a mother is hard work and takes extreme focus with the kids, including even 15 minutes of creative time into your day can be a game changer.







8. Connection with others and doing art with your child or friend is another way to communicate with others without speaking. How often do we look at art and receive so much feeling from a painting or sculpture? When drawing with your child, it gives you a chance to bond and do something special together. When my son draws a picture, I can understand him more, through his art. When I was little my Dad included us in huge art projects and we spent the day painting and creating which also helped me feel more connected to my father. I ended up doing the same for my children and I find it has helped in my children's development in other areas, like reading and interpersonal skills.



Do you find time to be creative? Do you have any tips for others about finding more creative time? I would love to hear from you, lets chat, leave a comment.



Do you love this blog, I have a free coloring book over on www.SkyMarcano.com and other tools to help you get into the creative flow! Join me and sign up, I love connecting with other like minded people.

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Surgeon General Vivek Murthy Joins Forces With Elmo To Promote Vaccinations

Surgeon General Vivek Murthy and the Department of Health and Human Services enlisted the help of Elmo on Friday to encourage Americans to get vaccinated.



Murthy revealed a 30-second public service announcement with the Muppet Friday in a blog post published on the HHS website, in which he discusses the importance of vaccines.



"It's my job to help everyone stay healthy," Murthy tells Elmo in the ad.



"Can Elmo help too?"



"Absolutely, Elmo. You can get all your vaccinations on time. Those are the shots that help you stay healthy," Murthy responds, assuring him he'll only feel a pinch and encouraging him to tell all of his Sesame Street pals to get vaccinated, too.



Watch the public service announcement above.



"Among children in the U.S. born between 1994 and 2013, routine vaccinations will prevent an estimated 322 million illnesses, 21 million hospitalizations, and 732,000 deaths over the course of their lifetimes," Murthy wrote in the blog post introducing the ad, calling vaccines "the most successful and cost-effective public health tools."



The PSA came hours after California health authorities declared the measles outbreak that began at Disneyland several months ago -- and reinvigorated a national debate about vaccinations -- over. The outbreak resulted in 147 diagnoses across the country, but no deaths.



H/t The Hill

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Farmer Grows Gigantic 33-Pound Turnip, All Is Turnt In The World

A 33-pound turnip was harvested last week by a farmer in China's Yunnan Province, according to local reports.





The giant turnip is pictured in the flower bed at the home of Chinese villager Mr. Li in Jinghu village, Dianzhong town, Eshan county, Yuxi city, southwest China's Yunnan province, 8 April 2015.




A man identified by Imagechina as "Mr. Li" claims the turnip as his own, and said the vegetable was grown without the help of any fertilizers. He was just as shocked by its gargantuan appearance as anyone would be, reports China's People's Daily Online. The newspaper adds that Li planted regular seeds and watered the plot every day.



The turnip reportedly weighs 33 pounds and is 4 feet long.





A man measures the length of the giant turnip growing in the flower bed at the home of Chinese villager Mr. Li in Jinghu village, Dianzhong town, Eshan county, Yuxi city, southwest China's Yunnan province, 8 April 2015.




The average turnip weighs anywhere from two to eight ounces, which means Li's turnip is no ordinary root vegetable. While it's overwhelming to imagine the dishes one could make with this amount of turnip, one thing is for sure: a certain first lady would be stoked about the prospect.











H/T The Daily Mail





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Suzanne Somers Says Her Vibrating ThighMaster 'Makes Sex More Enjoyable'

Although Suzanne Somers is known for her roles on "Three's Company" and "Step By Step," the actress has made quite a name for herself in the fitness world. Somers, who began selling the ThighMaster back in 1990, joined HuffPost Live on Wednesday to discuss the latest product in her workout arsenal -- the ThighMaster Vibrato.



According to 68-year-old Somers, her product tones more than just your inner thighs.



"It's also great -- I know it's weird -- for kegel [exercises]. You know, to keep that muscle tight, which actually makes sex more enjoyable. So there's just a lot of uses for this little thing," she told host Nancy Redd. "If you pull up on your core, if you think about it, you can keep that tight, and I think that's something that women should do for your own pleasure."



Watch the full HuffPost Live conversation with Suzanne Somers here.



Sign up here for Live Today, HuffPost Live’s morning email that will let you know the newsmakers, celebrities and politicians joining us that day and give you the best clips from the day before.

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The Specialness Epidemic -- What Our Need to Stand Out is Really All About

It happened to me at one of the most inopportune times. That need to feel special, unique, be selected, feel seen; that feeling happened while I was being blessed by a monk.



On a recent holiday to Thailand, my husband and I were visiting The Big Buddha in Phuket. A glorious site with love emanating from every corner.



Then, in the corner of my eye, I saw a monk giving blessings. Drawn like a magnet, I took off my shoes and "walked" up on my knees toward the monk.



Before me was a mother and her young daughter, then a group of three teenage Thai girls. Everything felt beautiful and holy, as the monk prayed for those before him and sprinkled holy water on their heads.



Then suddenly, something different happened. Since I didn't speak Thai, I wasn't sure what was said, but what I SAW was that one of the Thai girls was "selected" to receive a unique gift. While most were getting bracelets made by the monks themselves (think friendship braided bracelets), she received a beautiful necklace, which he further blessed and prayed upon before giving it to her.



Next, I was up, and truth be told, I wanted one of those necklaces too. Yes, there before the monk, I was jealous. Thankfully, I quickly got over it so I could appreciate the experience. Tears trickled down my face to have experienced the blessing and I left.



But I had to think, What was this jealousy about? Then it quickly occurred to me: Oh yes, that need to be special.



Quite frankly, I think we have a specialness epidemic on our hands. We so desperately want to be seen and to do that we feel we need to stand apart from others. We can see it with young kids yearning to earn a trophy, healers believing they have been specially "selected" for their spiritual gifts or even our constant addiction to selfies.



Of course, we are all unique and have different gifts to share, but "specialness" is not just bestowed upon only a chosen few. Each of us has talents and gifts. It is just that some of us are utilizing them and some of us get tripped up in "not enoughness" to utilize our gifts. In order to try to help that "not good enough" feeling, our egos try to make us enough by being considered "special."



Yes, that most common of shame themes of not being "good enough" is what is behind our specialness epidemic. And there I was experiencing it.



After receiving the emotional surge of jealousy, I had two options.



1. Shame myself. My ego would want to go with something like "What's wrong with you? You having this jealousy demonstrates your not spiritual enough to receive that necklace. You don't deserve it!"



2. Understand the empowered message to jealousy/envy, which is: you can have it too. Obviously, I can't have the necklace, but I can give myself the meaning underneath the necklace. Which then I quickly reminded my little girl (inner child) "You are beautiful and enough just as you are."



Will our shame continue to rear it's head in obscure ways? Um, YES!



And, that's OK because you know that our negative emotions are the gateway to recognizing when shame is triggered AND you know that our emotions teach us how to provide for ourselves internally what we need.



What this means is that while unconscious shame will trigger you from time to time, you have a path to change the outcome of BELIEVING IN THE SHAME.



It is our belief in our shame that limits us from having a fulfilled life.



In order to take away our belief in shame we need to have PERSISTENCE. This means that every time a negative feeling appears, we need to understand both the disempowered and empowering messages. Then we have CHOICE: The choice to choose which message to believe. Each time a negative feeling appears, you have a choice. Choice 1, sweep it under the rug. Choice 2, understand the deeper meaning.



Although Choice 1 seems easier, in the long run it isn't! Not knowing how to provide for your internal needs means your emotions go SIDEWAYS and ultimately you'll feel like your needs aren't fully being met.



GO THE DISTANCE for yourself by going into what you truly feel. You are worth it and when you demonstrate your self-value, guess what? Your self-value is reflected back to you! When we aren't willing, the lack of self-value gets mirrored back to us as we struggle with finances, relationships or reaching our potential.



YOU are MORE THAN WORTH the time and persistence to make your life feel fulfilling to you! Just let your emotions support you -- OK?



If you would like how to learn to how to use negative feelings as a barometer for growth, go here to get your complimentary FEEL training kit: http://ift.tt/1KmQ4aY, which shows you where you get stuck and how to emotionally empower yourself to create changes internally and externally in all areas of your life.

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Is Crowdfunding Your Medical Expenses Risky or Reasonable?

Every day, another headline gets released that either criticizes or praises medical crowdfunding. Is this a legitimately genius way to cover your vital medical expenses? One thing's for sure: there's a lot more to the medical crowdfunding industry than meets the eye.



The Rise of Medical Crowdfunding



Well-known crowdfunding websites like Indiegogo and GoFundMe have experienced exponential growth in medical fundraising over the past few years. According to GoFundMe, between 2011 and 2014, the number of medical fundraising campaigns on the platform increased from 8,000 to 600,000. "Medical, Illness & Healing" has become GoFundMe's most heavily utilized fundraising category.







Why are so many turning to crowdfunding as an option to offset medical costs? "High out-of-pocket health expenses can quickly deplete a sick person's financial resources," notes a March New York Times article on medical crowdfunding. "Despite Medicare coverage...older adults have more difficulty paying for their care than peers in other developed countries."



"Knuckleheads" Who Exploit The System



"Are these sites ripe for fraud?" asked Eliza Barclay at NPR. The CEO of GoFundMe admitted that some "knuckleheads" exploit crowdfunding platforms for personal gain. Medical crowdfunding scam artists have exploited family connections to fundraise without donating the proceeds to their sick relative. Others have simply faked an illness in order to garner support to the tune of thousands or even tens of thousands of dollars.



I spoke to David Bakelman, who is the CEO of HelpHOPELive, a nonprofit that has been helping patients raise money for their medical expenses for more than three decades. He confirmed the importance of legitimacy in online medical fundraising and crowdfunding.



"Patients come to us for fundraising because they are concerned that when they use crowdfunding websites, their donors are not able to verify right away that their contributions will go to the right person and will exclusively be used to help that person with condition-related expenses," says Bakelman. "We complete the verification step so that donors don't have to do the research on their own - they can simply donate to support their friend or family member and know their donations will be spent for their intended purposes."

Sure, it's against crowdfunding ethos, but if you did fake a Kickstarter: good marketing, built-in payment system, instant mailing list, etc

— Austin Kleon (@austinkleon) April 2, 2015

Can sites protect donors to patient campaigns? How about the legal system? "The issue of fraud protection has transformed the process of legalizing equity crowdfunding into a grueling, complex and contentious three-year process," wrote CJ Cornell and Charles Luzar in Crowdfund Insider in March, as "industry stakeholders and special interests wrangled over new rules meant to protect investors from fraud." According to a March 2015 article, no laws or regulations currently provide direct oversight to prevent medical crowdfunding scams.



With no federal regulations to corral the scam possibilities, donors have to do their research or risk getting scammed. GoFundMe and other sites frequently advise visitors only to donate to patients they know personally, but reiterate that it's impossible to conclusively verify the details posted on a medical crowdfunding profile.



"Our process involves confirming both the patient's identity and the nature of his or her medical diagnosis," said HelpHOPELive's Bakelman. "We work with patients, their families and referring health care professionals to verify medical and financial need. It's an essential part of the process, and one that crowdfunding sites cannot necessarily carry out for their patient fundraisers."



Just Because It's Crowdfunded Doesn't Mean It's Free



Even when they donate to patients they know, donors may not be able to escape crowdfunding platform fees that skim dollars off of every donation. Indiegogo charges a 9 percent fee and up to 5 percent third party processing fee, but that processing fee drops to 4percent if fundraisers meet their donation goal. GiveForward and GoFundMe charge 7.9 percent plus a transaction fee of under $1 per donation. GiveForward allows donors to add the associated fees to their donations. If donors decline to do so, the fees will come out of the donation itself.



It's a common misconception that medical crowdfunding is easy: just create a profile, ask for donations, and your work is done - right? As NPR's Barclay reports, "not everyone succeeds. People with small social networks tend to have more trouble meeting their [crowdfunded] fundraising goals." Barclay noted that GoFundMe users who were nearest to their fundraising milestones had "at least 200 Facebook friends" on average.



Rebecca Carr, the Co-Director of Fundraising and Patient Services for HelpHOPELive, has seen many patients move away from crowdfunding sites because of fees or complications. "Clients will switch to us because a friend or relative opened a crowdfunding campaign on their behalf and then ran off with the money," she said. "They also come to us because when trying to fundraise with crowdfunding sites, donors would constantly ask them if donations would be tax-deductible, and they wouldn't be."

Will #crowdfunding medical expenses impact your #taxes? http://t.co/dXUVQ5vfLG

— HelpHOPELive (@HelpHOPELiveorg) April 6, 2015

Crowdfunding proceeds aren't treated any differently than regular income or assets from a tax perspective. In other words, the more donations secured through crowdfunding, the more likely it is for a patient to jeopardize Medicaid eligibility.



"Because the process of crowdfunding is relatively easy compared to other means of obtaining capital, some might neglect to research potentially unfavorable tax, financial or legal implications from their campaign," writes Jason Alderman at Minuteman. "Crowdfunding a person's unpaid medical bills may have significantly different tax ramifications than crowdfunding one's independent film project."



Alderman advises donors who are considering contributing to a medical crowdfunding campaign to "consider asking if there are more efficient ways to offer support" and urges people who are thinking about crowdfunding their own expenses to "consider getting individualized tax, financial or legal advice" before signing up.



Bottom Line



Crowdfunding your medical expenses is a lot more complicated than you think. Consider fees and risks and explore your options before you set up an account (or donate to one).

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Two Chefs Want To Revolutionize Fast Food -- By Making It Healthy

The term "food desert" -- which refers to areas without ready access to wholesome food, especially poor urban neighborhoods -- has become a potent buzzword in food policy circles over the past few years. Eliminating food deserts is now a priority for both governments and major corporations looking for good PR.



But getting rid of a food desert doesn't magically solve all of the nutritional problems of the people who live there. It's easy enough to plop a Whole Foods or a farmers market down in the middle of an inner-city neighborhood, but it's not a given that the people who live nearby will actually eat the food available there. After all, cooking fresh produce from scratch can be expensive, difficult and time-consuming, especially compared to ordering burgers and fries at a drive-thru fast food restaurant.



With that in mind, two acclaimed California chefs have started a project to bring healthy food to disadvantaged communities by working within the model that many health advocates despise: fast food. In the summer of 2013, Daniel Patterson of Coi in San Francisco teamed up with L.A.'s Kogi BBQ founder Roy Choi to create a new kind of fast food restaurant -- one that serves meals that are affordable, delicious and legitimately healthy. They're calling the new fast food chain "Loco'l."



Hints about Loco'l have been percolating ever since Choi and Patterson first announced the venture in 2014, but reporter Howie Kahn revealed crucial new details about how the project will work in a great feature for WSJ magazine's April's Taste issue.



In the piece, Choi and Patterson take pains to distance Loco'l from fast casual chains, such as Chipotle and Shake Shack, that also seem to offer a promising alternative to traditional fast food.



"Those places are more upscale," Patterson told Kahn. "They're designed to make you think you're not eating fast food."



"Fast food is the only totally inclusive kind of dining," Choi added. "Everyone feels like they belong."



To that end, the prices at Loco'l will be directly competitive with those at major fast food chains; Kahn reports menu items will range between 99 cents and $8. And though the Loco'l menu won't include soda or French fries, it will include a number of dishes that, at least superficially, wouldn't be out of place at McDonald's or Burger King. There will be hamburgers, for example, but the buns were crafted by a star San Francisco baker, and the patties will include quinoa, barley and seaweed in addition to beef.



The'll also offer rice bowls and a host of small, seasonal vegetables called "Yotchays" after the Korean word for "vegetable," the pair revealed at a talk Wednesday hosted by WSJ at the Line Hotel in L.A.'s Koreatown, where Choi operates two restaurants.



Patterson and Choi also said they're on track to open the first Loco'l this fall in nearby Watts, the site of an infamous series of race riots in 1965. A second location, in San Francisco's notoriously rough Tenderloin district, will follow a few months later.



Beyond that, Choi and Patterson have huge ambitions for the future of Loco'l; they want it to be nothing less than a revolutionary force in the world of fast food. In the WSJ feature, they say they -- hyperbolically, one assumes -- want to open "a million" locations of the chain.



Before they can get there, though, they'll have to address big question marks, especially when it comes to the economics of the enterprise. Patterson and Choi raised over $128,000 on Indiegogo to support the opening of the first two Loco'l outposts. But crowdsourcing will only get them so far: to expand Loco'l enough for it to have the kind of impact the two chefs imagine will ultimately require it to be a self-sustaining business that throws off serious cash. And Patterson and Choi could find it tough to make Loco'l profitable while maintaining high quality and healthfulness.



Patterson may have had these challenges in mind when he admitted, in a statement at once grandiose and realistic, that there may be a ceiling to the concrete impact Loco'l can have.



"I don't know if we're going to be the ones to actually change the model," he said at the Line Hotel talk. "But we are at least going to be able to be a spark in the revolution."



When the revolution is as badly needed as this one, even a spark may count for a lot.

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5 Simple Ways to Be Radically Engaged in Your World

In a world of bombarding distraction, how can you become more connected to your loved ones and feel deeper satisfaction with all that surrounds you? How can you capture moments of radical engagement?



You can get REAL. Try any of these five Radically Engaging Attention Lures to intentionally experience a sense of flow and captivation.



1) Jar some joy



Starting a Joy Jar, you could say, is kind of like starting a batch of kombucha tea or sourdough bread. But without any slime or sticky dough.



How it works: Gather together a large jar and a stack of paper. When you think about or have experiences that bring joy, simply write them down and place them in the jar. Then on days when joy seems frustratingly far away, just reach in, pull out a memory -- and be immediately reminded of the abundance of joy all around you.



You'll soon notice this simple Joy Jar palpably and consistently jars into your awareness the plentiful, delightful moments that you may otherwise miss. Some big (a substantial win at work) and some small (how evening light hits the cherry blossoms). Either way, you'll likely feel more engaged as a result of your "Joy-Jarring" and more attuned to the presence of joy that would normally go unseen.



2) Turn a blind eye



It's easy to multitask and feel overwhelmed when you're in front of an electronic device or sitting at your desk, gazing at all the physical "evidence" of your projects -- lists, correspondence, bills, emails. Then the phone rings -- and it's your partner, your child, your most important client. You desperately want to be present with your full self. But find it's impossible when you see all the modern flotsam and jetsam around you.



So, close your eyes while you have that important conversation. This simple step of "turning a blind eye" to your distractions will help you focus on and be engaged in the NOW. Do the same as you brush your teeth or exercise on the elliptical. Once you start using this simple trick, you'll find more opportunity to (safely!) close your eyes to distractions, and look life right IN the eyes with your full, REAL self.





3) Take 10



It's natural to feel disengaged when you're overwhelmed with projects and commitments. You might get stymied, shut down and go nowhere. An easy-to-implement remedy: Next time you want to make REAL progress on a highly "procrastinate-able" project, set a timer for just 10 minutes. Promise yourself that for this short period, you'll focus on whatever to-do has been eluding you.



And if you like, reward yourself when the time is up. If you're like most of us, it's the getting started on a put-off-able that snags us. Taking 10 asks little of you -- just 10 minutes. But the practice will produce a substantial dent in whatever has been making you feel like a lifetime member of the Procrasti-Nation. And chances are, you'll achieve a level of flow and engagement that you were hoping for all along.



4) Write a grace note



Whoever said a eulogy must only be written for someone who's dead? Why do we wait so long to openly recognize the gifts others bring to the world? Why are the truest compliments and sincerest sentiments said about loved ones when they can no longer hear and savor them? What if you could take the love and conscientiousness you feel after someone dies -- and intentionally communicate your gratitude while they are still living?



You can. Whether your thoughts are written or spoken, call it a Grace Note. Because like a musical grace note, it's that extra embellishment that makes something beautiful even better. It's freely and openly given to acknowledge someone's gifts. And the process will invariably engage you in a deeper, more authentic connection to those who matter most.



What keeps us from committing to this simple act? A lack of time? A fear of feeling awkward? A concern that the person we're "gracing" will then feel obligated to honor YOU? (Wouldn't that be nice?!)



Just keep it simple; this doesn't have to be poetry, and there is no "wrong" way to express yourself. Think of someone you love. Then consider just one or two key words that embody this person -- and you're on your way to immortalizing him or her. Or if you're among the fortunate who doesn't know someone who's imminently dying, look around you. People everywhere are dying to be heard, recognized and appreciated. People are dying to receive your Grace Note.



5) Die tomorrow



Admittedly this REAL idea takes more effort, yet offers a generous payback.



On some level, we are all dying, bit by bit, each day. What would happen, then, if you imagine, and better yet -- fully act out -- a day that in the near future is your Last. One. On. Earth. How would you spend it? With whom? In this scenario, you're not just talking about feeling more engaged in the world. You ARE. Maybe your last day involves a long-put-off, yet life-defining, conversation with a loved one. Or writing a special letter to a special someone.



Perhaps it's a one-of-a-kind meal, or bringing your closest friends together for laughs over dinner and fine wine. Or recording for your children your hopes and dreams for them. It could be as simple as picnicking with all your favorite foods at a local park. Or flying to a destination atop your bucket list. Whatever it is, your "some day" has arrived.



And since you likely WON'T "die tomorrow," this exercise -- as powerful as it is extreme -- helps you passionately go about the business of living well with REAL purpose and focus.



Talk about radical!

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The Science of Coming Alive

Imagine returning to the home where you grew up, opening the door, and walking right back into your childhood or youth? What would you learn about yourself and your life story? How would you live your life differently today?

When we reach adulthood--and especially middle age--we have the opportunity to look back over our lives, review our triumphs and regrets, and contemplate the story that we want to tell. Such stories or "life narratives"--both the content and the telling--are important. For the past several decades, psychological scientists have been exploring how the stories that we write about our lives shape the way we think about ourselves, influence our day-to-day behaviors, and impact our happiness. Having a coherent autobiography makes us feel more accepting about our past and less fearful about the future. In other words, we are better off if we are able to construct a life narrative of how we became who we are today and how our future will unfold--for example, by imbuing our life history with a sense of orderliness and significance. For example, instead of regretting that we didn't spend more time with our mother when she was very ill, we come to understand how her battle with cancer propelled us to devote the second half of our career to helping others. We experience greater happiness and life purpose when we are able to construe our lives as more than just a collection of isolated, fleeting moments and can transform those moments into critical pieces of a significant journey. We are better adjusted when we have the capacity to convert an uncertain future into a series of predictable events.

In the 1957 Ingmar Bergman film Wild Strawberries, the protagonist, a seemingly benevolent elderly Swedish physician, is haunted by past regrets and images of his own impending death. Forced to reevaluate his life, he undertakes a literal and metaphorical 400-mile journey, during which he visits people and places that remind him of all the key turning points in his life--his admired but actually mean-spirited mother, his childhood on the seaside, the sweetheart he loved who married his brother instead of him, and his bitterly quarrelsome marriage. Recognizing himself in these memories and in the people in his life, the doctor gradually gains a sense of self-acceptance and is able to instill in his life a coherence and significance that it didn't have before.

The Swedish physician achieves something that we should all aim for; researchers call it "autobiographical coherence." Achieving it may require mental time travel--to moments of our earliest youth, for example, finding there the seeds of our present failures and successes as partner, grandparent, worker, and friend. Bergman reportedly got the idea for Wild Strawberries during a long car trip across Sweden. After stopping in Uppsala, the town of his birth and childhood, and driving past his grandmother's old home, he imagined what it would be like to open the door and walk back into his childhood. What if we could do that with different periods of our lives? Research shows that by simply writing about the past, people are able to gain a sense of meaning and order about their significant life events, thus affording them the chance to come to terms with these events and reconcile themselves to their regrets. Such writing can help us reconnect to the people, places, and activities from our pasts and give us a sense of autobiographical coherence. Such writing involves not only describing our biographical facts ("I was mistreated," "I lived in Illinois"), but going beyond the facts by selectively appropriating particular memories or aspects of our experiences (e.g., cherished memories or symbolic family traditions) in a way that makes sense to us. In doing so, instead of harping on all the ways we could have acted more virtuously or more wisely, we can make our past life experiences and events come alive and add meaning to our lives.

This blog post is part of a series for HuffPost Moments Not Milestones called 'Lived and Learned: What I Want My Younger Self To Know.' To see all the other posts in the series, click here.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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Redefining Balance

Can you have it all? Do it all? Talk to any modern day parent who is trying to balance work (and I believe that being a stay-at-home parent is work) and raising a family, cooking, cleaning and laundry, and having a social life of their own and most will tell you it's impossible. Throw in there the pressures of a wellness routine and a spiritual life and balance sounds about as possible as juggling chainsaws while riding a unicycle.



The problem is that we see balance as doing it all to perfection with a smile on our face the whole time. We fool ourselves into thinking that we can make everyone happy and never let anyone else down, except when we do try to be everything to everyone we are letting ourselves down.



What if I told you that balance is really more like riding a bike than leveling the scales of justice?



When you ride your bike, in order to stay balanced, you need to keep pedaling. You don't have to pedal at breakneck speed, as long as you keep some momentum going you will keep from falling to the side. Each tooth of the gear set gets gripped by the chain and then released as the wheels turn. It's the same in life. Maintaining some kind of momentum, where you touch upon and let go of all aspects of your life in varying degrees, is the key to balance.



Balance is not compartmentalizing each aspect and holding it until it's perfect then moving on to the next, because if you do that, you end up feeling guilty and neglectful and horrible. You are essentially trying to juggle it all and your juggling act looks like you're holding one ball and letting the other 8 fall to the ground. Think about it, if you focus solely on perfecting a project at work, your family suffers or your social life suffers or your fitness plan falls to the wayside.



Some keys to balance are:



1. Let go of the black and white, right or wrong point of view

You are not ever going to be perfect. You are human. The more you embrace that the smoother the rest of your life is going to be. You can absolutely pursue a high standard of excellence, as long as you maintain a comfortable holistic momentum while you pursue it. You get to choose how fast you ride your bike.



2. Honor your values

Do you really need to be doing all that you have signed up for? Are you doing some things because you don't trust others to do it as well as you, or because you felt too guilty to say no? Are you resentful for doing certain things that go against your grain? As I mentioned in my last blog, Who Are You Really?, getting to know what you stand for helps you make decisions that honor your values.



3. Who says?

Who are you taking your marching orders from? Is it from that inner critic or your saboteur as Shirzad Chamine calls it in his book Positive Intelligence? An easy way to tell if it's a saboteur motivating your choices about what you "should" be doing is if it's rooted in anxiety, anger, disappointment, shame, guilt, regret, or blame, whereas your wisest self or sage is motivated by curiosity, empathy, joy, creativity, peace, calm resolve, and gratitude.



4. Look at your to do list

Are you even on there? Is it all focused on work or the house or the kids? Make a list of everything that is important to you: nutrition, meditation, dancing, taking a walk in the woods, visiting a distant relative, painting, writing or anything else you have identified as a value and add it to your to do list. Have your list be a holistic expression of your whole life.



I am sure you think I am crazy by suggesting that balance comes from adding to what you already have to do but trust me, if spending time walking in the woods is as meaningful to you as it is for me, your heart will be so full when it's over that you won't mind folding laundry. Once you get good at riding your bike you won't mind adding some gears to it.



Comment below or send me an email at tammy@tammyplunkett.com and let me know what you think. Can you see how much easier life can be when you're leisurely riding a bike instead of juggling chainsaws?

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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