Ask Alanis Morissette: I wish my girlfriend didn’t smoke pot

Is it that you somehow feel lonely when she is high? Does her smoking disconnect you in some way?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a couple of months now. Before this we were really good friends. I have always known that she smokes pot. I don’t do drugs because I am bipolar, and I just can’t accept the fact she still smokes. I love her so much, I just need to know how to accept this part of her.
In broaching this with your girlfriend, I would be clear about why you don’t enjoy being with her when she smokes. Focus more on your experience and less on her needing to change. Is it that you somehow feel lonely when she is high? Does her smoking disconnect you in some way? I would recommend getting to the essence of what you miss when she is high with you, and explaining that to her.

If she’s prepared to stop smoking, then wonderful. If she is not open to changing her habits, it comes down to how important this is to you, and how much of a boundary you are willing to set. Would you walk away from the relationship if she were unwilling to stop? Is it something you could tolerate if she did it less? These are questions only you can answer.

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from Health & wellbeing | The Guardian http://ift.tt/1SFqIZn
via health