Ask Molly Ringwald: I’m sick of my partner smoking weed – what should I do?

‘I don’t see much of a difference between using alcohol or cannabis, except that the former seems to incite a lot more violence’

My partner of four years and I are both in our 30s. When we met, he admitted he liked to smoke marijuana, but he has recently started to smoke more in my view, though he denies this. I hate it on so many levels: it’s illegal, I hate the smell of it, and him when he’s stoned – from a lively, energetic man, he turns into a lifeless shell. He says I’m overreacting, that it’s healthier than alcohol and chills him out more than beer does. We are very different people, me quiet and careful, him exuberant and jovial. I had thought we could complement each other, but his habit is putting a strain on the relationship.

I would have advised you to put on some Bob Marley, light up a big spliff and chill out, but this would go against who you are. Just as you are asking your partner, the same man who was upfront with you when you met, to change who he is.

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