A girl who shares a bedroom with her stepbrother has fallen in love with him. Mariella Frostrup says she must put some distance between the two of them
If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella.frostrup@observer.co.uk
The dilemma For the past eight years I’ve been living with my mother, stepfather and stepbrother, plus four younger siblings. The eldest boy has had to sleep in the same bedroom with me for the past five years. I began developing feelings for him after one year of staying in the same room. Now I’m in my final year of school, and for me that sister/brother love is gone and is replaced with what I think is real love. It has become increasingly difficult to hide my attraction, as we now spend time together studying, too. I can’t help but look when he gets changed in the morning and I am now ready to share my true feelings. I want to put everything on the line for him – even our family. When people ask what I imagine my future to be, I can’t help but think of spending my life with him. I want to know what his feelings are, but I am scared to open up and get shamed by my family. I honestly don’t know if loving my stepbrother romantically is really that bad. I love and desire him with every part of my body and soul. Is this right?
Mariella replies You need to swap roommates, for starters. Whether you and your stepbrother turn out to be star-crossed lovers or not, as your letter illustrates, it’s now inappropriate for you to still be sharing a room. Bedroom intimacy once you’ve passed puberty is something you aspire to in a relationship; it shouldn’t be the starting block for romance. There’s no opportunity for you to establish whether or not you’re truly attracted to this boy; instead the relationship is virtually being forced on you by this proximity at a vulnerable age.
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from Health & wellbeing | The Guardian http://ift.tt/1KsdFFA
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