‘Frenemies don’t bring anything to the table and they make us feel bad, sneakily undermining us with covert criticism, making sure our life pales in comparison to their own’
I have a new friend whom I find emotionally draining. Conversations are one-sided, and when she does stop to ask about me or pause to hear what I’m saying, I usually get about 10 words in – then she’s on to another anecdote about her wonderful life. The only thing she gives me space to talk about is my ailing mother. While I appreciate that sympathy, I’d rather discuss things in my life that are going well and making me happy. How can I turn the tables on this relationship?
I think the key word is in your first sentence: “new”. I’m all for doing somersaults for old friends. I’ve been through terrible fights, separations, reconciliations: pretty much the same gamut of emotions I’ve experienced in my romantic relationships. I value my friendships, especially the old friends, whom I consider to be as essential in my life as my family. They are the family I’ve chosen for myself. But we have years of goodwill in our favour, so we forgive each other our shortcomings, knowing that there is enough good in there to sustain us through the hard parts.
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from Health & wellbeing | The Guardian http://ift.tt/1TWYXvF
via health
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