health and fitness: I struggle to reach orgasm with my partner, so I often fake it

lundi 27 juillet 2015

I struggle to reach orgasm with my partner, so I often fake it

My lover is deeply insecure and it’s very hard to guide him during lovemaking to help me climax – what should I do?

I struggle to reach orgasm with my partner. I know my body very well and I know why it doesn’t work. But my partner is deeply insecure. It is very hard to even “guide” him, for he takes it amiss. This has led to a cycle of faking orgasm, and now, of course, I feel totally at a loss.

Guiding a lover and giving genuine feedback is an essential aspect of a satisfying sexual relationship. Contrary to common beliefs, sexuality is not “easy and natural”; it has to be learned. And because everyone has unique needs and responses, it has to be relearned with each partner. Helping anyone – sensitive or not – to maintain confidence while explaining to them what doesn’t work needs to be done extremely positively. When you are engaged in sexual activity, and he does something you don’t like, say: “I was really enjoying [what you did before - be explicit]. More please!”