His prostatectomy means we have to use aids that make him cry and I find repulsive
My husband had a prostatectomy almost two years ago. Since the surgery we have not been able to make love without the use of aids that we both find present a huge psychological barrier – it makes him cry to use them and I secretly find them repulsive. I feel so shallow because on initial diagnosis I was terrified I might lose him. But now the focus has changed, and we have lost both physical and emotional intimacy.
First, get some extra help in the way of post-operative penile therapy. Insist on this, because it often takes quite some time for nerve endings and vascular trauma to be repaired or for functioning to improve. I know it is not easy to accept that things are not the same as before, but in a way your true intimacy has increased, because this challenge has forced you to learn more about the way you both function sexually. It is understandable that you’re both still mourning for your previous love-making style and ability, but sex is not just about the mechanics. Use your imagination instead. If you bring optimism and creativity to your new sexual relationship you may find that satisfaction, indeed eroticism, is not lost at all. Be open to introducing different kinds of sexual fun, such as exciting role-playing, videos, fantasy-sharing and erotic conversation – and try to see this as a new phase, a new adventure.
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from Health & wellbeing | The Guardian http://ift.tt/1JvJE8T
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