A young teen who is more academic than social feels isolated. Mariella Frostrup urges her to put her fluctuating hormones and feelings into context
The dilemma I’m a 13-year-old girl who is overweight. I’ve started to feel very uncomfortable and lonely in my own skin. All my friends have boyfriends and are living a wonderful life. I’m very close to one girl, but whenever I try to discuss problems which worry me, she immediately changes the topic. My only other friend has been ignoring me for two weeks. I’ve always been extremely good academically and have been the teacher’s pet for as long as I can remember. My counsellor has diagnosed me as someone with social anxiety and hypersensitivity, and now I feel like I’m depressed as well. My mother fails to understand my problems and I don’t know who to go to.
Mariella replies You’re not alone, even if you feel like it. I’d be far more worried if you were writing to tell me your life couldn’t be more fabulous! At 13 years old that would be seriously weird. Instead you’re at the epicentre of one of the most turbulent periods you’ll experience, and I can promise you, no matter how it may look, all your friends are experiencing similar emotions. Teenage angst is legendary and comparable only to another equally hormonally busy phase in your early 50s, and that’s a lifetime away right now. Judging by your letter you are articulate, intelligent and literate and, believe it or not, those three qualities will come to matter far more than anything else as you mature.
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