A woman who was abused and disfigured in her youth feels lonely and miserable. Mariella Frostrup says she needs to change her mindset
The dilemma My childhood was a study in grief. When I was a baby I was in an accident that left me cosmetically disfigured. Then my father, an abusive alcoholic, left us. I began to be bullied – frequent physical assault, verbal and mental abuse – by kids in the area. Several of my immediate family died in quick succession. I felt unprotected, scared and alone. I’m in my mid-20s now and still absolutely miserable. I find it incredibly difficult to socialise effectively, and I don’t get any attention from the opposite sex. I often feel like everyone’s against me or, at the very least, that nobody’s with me.
Mariella replies Certainly your childhood sounds pretty dreadful and you’ve clearly had to negotiate a lot of pain, but don’t let those early experiences define you in adulthood. That would be a choice, and not a good one. Sadly, a dysfunctional childhood makes you part of a pretty large group.
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