health and fitness: I asked a new date where we were heading, but he got mad

samedi 28 novembre 2015

I asked a new date where we were heading, but he got mad | Mariella Frostrup

A young woman wonders if she should call it quits because a man she’s slept with three times hasn’t been in contact for two days. Mariella Frostrup tells her to relax

The dilemma I met a guy on a dating site about a month ago and made the mistake of sleeping with him on the third date. I thought he was too good to be true – even after sleeping with me he would call, send me messages... Recently he invited me to go on a weekend getaway with his friends. It was pretty good, and he kept checking up on me, which was great. But when we got back he got mad at me for wanting to know what is going on between us. He told me he is not looking to rush into a relationship. I don’t know how to handle this, so I said: “OK cool” and haven’t contacted him, and neither has he contacted me. It’s been two days. My thinking is to walk away gracefully. What should I do?

Mariella replies Two whole days! I’m not minimising your emotional pain, but could you be slightly overreacting? Before the era of instant communication, people waited months to receive missives from their beloved ones, depending on their location, occupation and station in life. A small disagreement could lead to long periods languishing in Siberian-style silence with no telephone, text or email with which to proffer impulsive, immediate resolution. Even more recently, before the advent of mobiles, days and even weeks might slide past agonisingly slowly as you waited for that welcoming orange light on your answering machine that signalled you were back in demand. The notion of a disagreement having to be resolved within 48 hours would have been a total anathema. Not that I’m proposing a return to those days, but would it be entirely out of the question for us to carve out some thinking space?